Freaky Friday
by WittyChemist
Summary: "Jason, I swear to god if you smoke while you're in my body you won't have a body to return to." In other words: Dick and Jason are cursed to switch bodies, they have to deal with that while trying to figure out what landed them in this situation in the first place. Of course, the Batfam is all too happy to help.
1. Chapter 1

Jason hated witchcraft. He hated magicians, and sorcerers, and particularly "holier-than-thou" newbie enchantresses who had a pretentious streak wider than Bruce's sense of "justice". The night he realized just how much he hated it, he had been patrolling the docks around Bludhaven. Jason had gotten some tips from his network that some sort of arms deal would be going on down there that he could bust up. Pretty run of the mill for his nightly adventures. As he watched from the top of a nearby storage crate, someone spoke from behind.

"Need any help?"

He whirled around and immediately pointed his gun in the smug, grinning face of Dick Grayson. He groaned.

"Get your own rooftop, boy wonder," he lowered his gun and turned back to monitoring the situation as Nightwing plopped down next to him, swinging his legs off the side of the crate.

"Hey, just because you got here first doesn't mean you're running this circus. I'm guessing you're here for the arms deal?"

Jason gave a noncommittal grunt.

"Well, I got a tip about it too, and it has ties to a case Red Robin is working. Since I'm in the area he wants me to check it out."

Jason scowled as he peered through his binoculars. "Cut the bullshit, Wing. You and I both know that Bats wants someone keeping an eye on me, god forbid I give someone a papercut. I haven't killed anyone in months and that should be good enough for him. I wouldn't even put it past you to have _volunteered_ to stalk me. Batman's good little boy scout, through and through."

Dick huffed and turned to face Jason. "Despite what you love to tell yourself Jay, I actually care about you. Batman does too, he's just not good at using his words when it comes to anything that involves expressing genuine emotions. We just want to help you with whatever it is that you're doing."

"I don't need Bats' help, I don't need your help, I don't need anyone's help to do what I do, so I'd _absolutely love_ it if you just left me the fuck alone."

Dick stood up and brushed himself off. "You know what? Fine, I get what you're saying. I'll back off. At least understand that I'll always be here for you, whether you want it or not. But be that as it may," he paused for a moment. He rushed to get the next words out quickly. "The dealers just arrived and the last one there loses so bye!" And with that he fell gracefully backwards off the storage crate.

"Son of a—" Jason threw his helmet on and followed his predecessor off the crate and landed silently next to him. As much as he hated to admit it, they knew each other's tactics well enough that they didn't need to discuss what they would do next. They moved silently into position as the thugs, six in all, inspected their newly purchased goods.

"Wow, look at the size a' these things!" Thug number one appraised the shipment. His buddy joined in. "We'll be able to rule the whole harbor with these puppies!"

Nightwing spoke up from the top of one of the surrounding storage crates. "I hate to break up this fun little gathering, but it sure would be great of ya to hand those over, you know how Batman would hate for those to fall into the wrong hands."

The thugs gasped and froze as they found Nightwing.

"Ah shit, quick, before—"

"I'm hurt 'Wing, I thought you liked my assistance, guns and all." The thugs whirled around to find Red Hood glaring down from the opposite crate. "Oh well, guess I'll just have to take my anger out on these guys instead."

The initial shock worn off, fight-or-flight kicked in. The thugs rushed to defensive positions around their shipment. Too late. Nightwing and Red Hood jumped into action: with only a few steps forward, Nightwing delivered a jarring kick to the chest of the first man. As the thug was sent crashing backward into another, Dick took advantage of the momentum, handspringing backwards as a bullet whizzed through the air where he had just been standing.

Through the corner of his eye, he saw the culprit jump as the gun was shot out of his hand by Red Hood, who barely paused to see his shot hit before grabbing yet another thug by the collar, throwing him into the two already dazed on the ground. Of the two left, one foolishly attempted to shoot Red Hood from behind, not noticing Nightwing until he had already been judo-flipped onto the pile of his associates.

The last guy, seeing his buddies sprawled about at varying levels of consciousness, at last figured out his only chance was flight and turned tail, gun lying forgotten on the asphalt. There was no way he was paid enough for—he collapsed to the ground as Nightwing dispatched him with a perfectly thrown escrima stick to the back of the skull. He dragged him back to the others just as Red Hood finished zip-tying them together.

"Jeez, I think crime lords need to start asking for resumes when they hire their minions, that was downright _shameful_." Nightwing secured the last two criminals to the other four as Red hood called an anonymous tip in to the police.

"It makes our job easier, so I'm not complaining. Let's see what it is they were trying to buy…"

They inspected the crate and found it to be filled with a couple dozen assault rifles, along with a large box of ammunition. Jason let out a low whistle.

"Well either these guys are preppers for the apocalypse, or they're planning something big. What did you say babybird had on these guys?"

"Not much, just that there's been lots of chatter going on in the Gotham underground about some newcomers to the scene getting this shipment, he figured it was something to check out. Clearly, he was right, but what I don't like is how little backup they sent for something so big. I mean, if you were to buy a bunch of weapons, wouldn't you make sure you had enough safeguards in place to not lose the shipment?"

"If I was buying this many guns, you guys would never know about it because I'm not an idiot. I see your point though, you think there's something more to this?" He began scanning the tall crates surrounding them.

"I dunno, I just… wait—over there, you see that?"

Jason caught sight of the figure just before they slipped around one of the crates a hundred yards down from them. He could hear sirens in the distance coming closer. "I think that's our cue to leave, let's go."

They quickly made their way over to where the figure had disappeared from, but there was no sight of them. Hood switched on the heat vision sensor in his helmet. He silently motioned the direction the figure went, past a few crates and up to the top of the long-term storage area with crates stacked ten high. They climbed to the top, where Hood found the heat signature brightly glowing. Nightwing, however, was scanning the tops of all the nearby crates. Hood turned to his glaring heat signature and tapped his shoulder, gesturing over to the figure.

"Dude, over there."

"There's nothing there, Hood."

"Are you blind? It's right there—wait hang on a sec." He switched the heat vision off and on and confirmed his suspicions. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted over to the seemingly empty space.

"You just gonna stand there and watch or do want to come out so we can have a chat?"

At this, the figure blinkered into visibility, revealing a short young woman dressed all in black. Her dark curls rippled in the breeze and she stood, smirking, her arms crossed. Nightwing and Red Hood took a few steps closer but kept their distance. Dick spoke first.

"Witchcraft, huh? You want to tell us why you were watching us just now?"

She cocked her head and spoke with a drawling voice. "And spoil the fun? I think not."

Jason, with his never-ending impatience spoke up. "Listen lady, we ain't free entertainment for you to watch at your own leisure, so tell us what you're doing here or leave."

She grinned. "Ah, but I have a personal invitation to be here, so I think I'll stay." Fireballs sparked to life in her hands, they arced through the air towards the two men. They deftly dodged the flames and went into ready stances.

Dick groaned as he pulled out his escrima sticks. "You ever heard of conflict _de_ -escalation, Hood?"

They got into a flanking position as Jason replied, "I skipped preschool that day."

The mystery woman danced backwards, hurling a volley of fireballs toward them. They sprung away, easily dodging the first few, but as more followed it became clear she was only toying with them, effortlessly lobbing more in each of their directions. As Jason spun away from a bright orange orb aimed at his head, a searing pain caught at his wrist and he hissed in anger and surprise. He pulled his guns, pissed. There was no way he was gonna let this lady play with them like this! He shot twice, aiming for her thigh, but she dodged, sending yet more flames arcing toward him. But it was the distraction Dick needed—he flipped over the wave of flames, landing next to her and forcing her into hand-to-hand combat. It wasn't much of a contest at this distance, but she still had some tricks up her sleeves-quite literally. As Dick grabbed for her arm, it turned into a snake, fangs outstretched. His eyes widened as he tried too late to adjust his angle, and the brilliant white fangs sank into his arm before he could throw it away.

The witch saw her chance, sprinting away as Dick clutched his bleeding arm. Shaking his head to clear the pain, he vaulted after her, Red Hood already on her tail. She yelled something, disappearing from view, but they knew what to expect now and switched to the heat sensors in their masks.

At last, she chose poorly, turning in to a dead end. Dick and Jason slowed in their pursuit, stopping well beyond her reach as she spun to face them.

"It's over," Nightwing yelled, panting slightly. "You've got nowhere to go!"

She glared, completely out of breath, her eyes flashing back and forth between the two men. Her eyes shifted and began to shine with malice. Her arms slowly went up in the air in surrender, but as they walked forward to apprehend her, she brought her arms out in front of her, clapping once as she yelled a word in some unknowable language. A wave of purple light spread out from her hands, washing over Nightwing and Red Hood as they stumbled back.

At first nothing appeared to happen. Jason looked over to Dick and shrugged, apparently unaffected. They started forward again, but suddenly Jason began to feel dizzy, a numb feeling spreading through his limbs. He stumbled and leaned against a crate in an attempt to stop the spinning in his head, as Dick, usually impossible to trip up, fell to his hands and knees, his shaking legs buckling under his body.

"Wha- whadidya-" Jason slurred, trying to get the words out as he collapsed next to Dick. The witch leaned over them.

"Shhhh, you need rest, I imagine tomorrow's events will be quite… startling… for the two of you. See you boys around," she grinned, and with that left them on the rooftop. Jason tried to get up and go after her, but his vision was quickly becoming consumed by black spots. The last thing he saw before he went under was Dick's already unconscious form, the two of them vulnerable and helpless as the world faded to black.

* * *

A/N: Hey there! I hope you enjoyed what I've written so far, not only is this my first batman fanfic but it is my first fic period, so I'd greatly appreciate any  
feedback that you guys have! I have quite a bit planned for this story, so reviews will help it to improve as I write more. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Jason groaned. He felt like he had been microwaved, boiled, and then trampled by a herd of rabid goats. _Can goats even_ be _rabid?_ he thought sluggishly, and then shook his head to clear it. He needed to assess the situation, figure out what had happened. It was still dark out, and the sun was rising around 7'o clock this morning, they got in the fight around 11, so sometime in between 11 and 6? It was always hard to tell with Gotham's oppressive clouds. He rubbed his face—which shouldn't have been an option with his helmet on. _Ok, helmet gone, but mask still in place? Did she take it as a memento or some shit?_ Without his helmet to aid in night vision, he could only see the dark outline of Dick, still unconscious. He made to stand up and almost topped over again.

His sense of balance was way off, and he felt… wrong. That was the only way to describe it. He looked down to see if he was injured—and nearly screamed.

Jason was wearing Dick's Nightwing costume.

"What the actual fuck?" he said aloud. He scrambled to find a reflective surface to look into and found a shallow puddle. It was enough to see his reflection, and when he saw it, he just about passed out again. For when he looked into his reflection, he found that the reflection staring back was that of Nightwing. He waved his hand in front of his face a couple of times, even slapped himself, to make sure this wasn't an illusion, but the image held.

Slowly, he looked with horror over to Dick where he lay, and realized that in his place, was himself. He staggered over to Dick, panic shaking him inside.

"Dick, wake up!" He didn't stir. "Dammit Dick," he reached over and slapped Dick—himself—across the face. At that he sat straight up.

"Ow, what the hell, Hoo—" He froze, staring into his own face. Panicked, he looked down at his body—Jason's body—and up again. And screamed.

"I take it you see our problem," Jason said dryly.

"Oh my god, oh my GOD, what the fuck happened?! I'm you and you're me and— _what the fuck?!_ " He pulled off Jason's helmet and threw it to the ground, Jason could see his wide, terrified pupils.

"It seems to me that Sabrina the Teenage Witch whammied us and made us switch bodies," he growled.

"Okay, well, there's got to be a way to get back, I mean we can't stay like this!" Dick patted his face, feeling the dissimilarities.

"No shit Sherlock, but what do you propose we do?"

Dick thought for a moment. "I know, let's run at each other, and then when we hit, maybe we'll switch back!"

Jason scoffed, which sounded very strange coming from Dick's voice and body. "That didn't work in Freaky Friday, do you really expect that to work here?"

Dick glared. "You got any better ideas?" Jason was silent. "I didn't think so. Come on, get up."

When Dick tried to stand, used to his lighter body and more graceful form of movement, he fell over. He tried again as he spoke.

"Christ, Jason, how much do you _weigh?_ "

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. I-fly-through-the-sky-like-a-bird, is my body not pleasing to your standards?" Jason snapped.

"Forget it." They walked to opposite sides of the rooftop. "On three, ok? We need to hit each other as squarely as possible. One, two, three!" Sprinting towards each other, they hit in the middle with a sickening _smack_ , and collapsed on the ground groaning.

"I don't think it worked," Dick groaned, still stuck in Jason's body.

"It worked to give us both concussions," Jason shot back, still stuck in Dick's body. The earpiece in Jason's ear crackled.

 _"Nightwing come in. Can you hear me?"_ Tim Drake's voice filtered in through the pain still flaring in Jason's skull.

 _"Nightwing, you there? Your communicator just turned on, do you need help? Are you hurt?"_

Realizing that Tim was in fact talking to him, Jason spoke up.

"Yeah, just not in the way you think. We have a problem, but it's too hard to explain it here. I'm coming back to the cave, and bringing D- er, Jason with me." Jason glanced over to Dick, who mouthed _who are you talking to,_ as Tim responded.

 _"Oh, uh, ok. See you two soon, then. Red Robin out."_ The confusion rang clear in his voice, since Jason usually didn't drop by the mansion anymore, with a place of his own to go to. Not to mention that Damian, the little creep, was still trying to "prove himself the superior combatant" every time Jason stopped by. It didn't really give incentive to visit.

"We're… going back to the cave?" Dick glanced down and grimaced. "Like _this_?"

"I don't know what else we _can_ do right now. At least there we can regroup."

Dick let out a heavy sigh. "I guess you're right. Here, let me check my—your—arm before we go."

"What's wrong with my—oh." Jason looked to the wound on his blue and black clad arm. It had stopped bleeding and was starting to scab over, it didn't look swollen. "Should I be worried?"

Dick examined it and patted down Jason's jacket, pulling things out of various pockets until he found some gauze. "Nah, it was just a king snake. Y'know, red next to yellow you're a dead fellow, red next to black you're okay Jack?"

"I usually go by Jason, not Jack, how _hard_ did you hit your head?"

"Never mind, in any case, it wasn't poisonous, even though she wanted it to look like it was. My guess is that she was saving up her magic juice to hit us hard at the end, but that means she might not be as powerful as she appears." He finished wrapping the arm. "As for your burn, it doesn't look too serious either, I'll deal with it once we're back at the cave. Hey, how did you get here?"

"I flew. How do you think, genius?"

"Cut it out Jay, we need to figure out how we're getting back. Am I riding your motorcycle to keep up with appearances?"

Jason's eyes narrowed. "The _hell_ you are. That bike is my pride and joy."

"Great. Mine's faster anyway."

"It is _not_ —"

"We should take backroads to get back then. Let's get going."

They made it back to their motorcycles, still wobbly but starting to find their balance. Dick reached his bike first. He made to swing his leg over the seat, but clipped the longer leg on the wheel, promptly tumbling towards the asphalt. He just caught himself before he face-planted. Jason erupted in laughter, but when he put up the kick stand on his motorcycle, his smaller mass was unable to keep it balanced and he tipped the massive bike over with a yelp. Righting his bike, he flipped off Dick waiting patiently while inspecting it for damage. Having found none, they set off slowly into the night, the damp streets reflecting the dim light of the street lamps.

It was fortunate they didn't run into anyone to fight, as it would be difficult to explain Nightwing and the Red Hood driving each other's motorcycles, and even harder to explain why Red Hood was suddenly into acrobatics and Nightwing was now using guns. They pulled into the vehicle bay of the bat cave and began to make their way up to the main area.

"So how do we try to explain this?" Dick asked Jason.

He shrugged. "I dunno, just be blunt, I guess."

They found the computer area to be occupied by Tim seated at the computer while Bruce leaned over the screen and pointed at something. They looked up upon their arrival.

"Hello Dick, Jason," Bruce greeted them as they entered. Jason felt uncomfortable to be greeted so amiably. They took off their masks and Bruce looked over to Jason. "Tim mentioned you had some sort of a situation out there tonight, care to elaborate?"

Dick stepped past Jason, surprising Bruce. "Yeah… so you how we went after that arms shipment? Well, we stopped that, but we ran into this enchantress who—" Dick paused as Bruce's characteristically neutral expression turned to one of shock as he peered over his shoulder.

"Dick _are you smoking?"_ he asked taken aback.

The real Dick turned sharply to Jason, who had somehow produced a lighter and pack of cigarettes from out of thin air, and said sharply, "Jason, I swear to god if you smoke while you're in my body you won't have a body to return to."

Jason rolled his eyes but put the cigarettes away. "Yeesh, lighten up Dick. Don't be one of those 'my body is my temple' assholes who only eat kale. Live a little."

"I'll live a lot longer _without_ you polluting my body."

Bruce and Tim watched the exchange in utter confusion. Once it clicked, Bruce's expression turned to complete exasperation and he looked skyward as if praying for strength while Tim's eyes widened in horror.

"Wait, you don't mean…"

"We do." Dick answered solemnly.

"So Jason…" Tim glanced between the two of them

"Yo," he said, gesturing with a peace sign from Dick's black and blue-clad hand.

"And Dick?"

"Present," he said despondently, an odd expression to be seen on Jason's face.

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. "I can feel the migraine coming on already. Explain."

They told the whole story while they finished patching their respective injuries, from the thugs to the enchantress and waking up on the roof top. As Dick spoke, interspersed with snide comments from Jason, Bruce listened intently while Tim typed notes on the computer. The end of the story was met with silence on all sides. Tim let out a low whistle.

"Wow, when you guys fail you really know how to do it spectacularly, huh?"

"Go fuck yourself Drake, you think we wanted this to happen?" Jason retorted angrily.

"Hey I'm just stating the obvi—" He was cut off as a dark shape jumped from the rafters above where it had been stalking its prey.

Jason yelled "Damian, wait!" but it was too late as the youngest member of the family fell upon Dick, knocking him roughly to the ground. Dick gasped as his arm was bent painfully and Damian zip tied his wrists to his ankles. He turned around to look at Damian with a tone of hurt in his voice. "Lil' D?"

Damian gazed haughtily down at Dick. "At last I prove myself superior, Todd. I have bested you in combat—keep that in mind for any future endeavors of yours that rely upon my compliance. Furthermore, I am unaware of what leads you to believe you have permission to use Grayson's code name for me, but you are sorely mistaken if you are under the impression that I shall allow that behavior to continue."

Tim attempted to whap Damian upside the head, which he deftly dodged. "You idiot, that's _Dick_ not _Jason_!"

Damian took a step back, anger, confusion, and a small amount of guilt written on his face. "What is this nonsense, Drake?"

Dick sat up, the zip ties now lying in a pile next to him. "It's fine Damian, you didn't know. Jason and I got whammied by a witch and now he's in me while I'm stuck in him."

Jason grinned evilly and said, "No need to make it sexual, Dick."

Damian glared at Jason. "Don't ever smile with Grayson's face like that. Ever."

Jason scoffed. "Whatever. So what are we gonna do? This has been fun and all, but I'd like to get back to my smokin' bod ASAP please."

A dagger flew past Jason's ear. "Todd, I don't want you to say a single word while you're inside Grayson's body."

Bruce intervened before the argument could go any further.

"Dick, Jason, get yourselves cleaned up. I think you should stay together until we figure this out, and stay here. Get some sleep and we'll figure this out in the morning."

Damian, still appearing guilty at the prospect of attacking his mentor, said nothing but stayed close by Dick's side as if to protect him from Jason. They each went their respective ways, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian to their bedrooms for rest, and Bruce off with his phone, presumably to make some calls to inquire about their current situation.

* * *

A/N: Hey everybody! Thank you all so much for the support for the first chapter! I plan on updating the story every Friday, school is about to get back in session for me so we'll see how that goes, but I'll do my best to stick to the schedule. I slipped a line from One Piece in here so kudos to you if you found it, I thought it was too funny not to include since it works so well with the situation. Thanks for reading, and please review!


	3. Chapter 3

Dick awoke in confusion, unsure of where he was, or why he felt so heavy. Slowly the night's events filtered in through his memory. He groaned and shut his eyes, willing the image in his mind to fade away. He glanced down at himself. _Nope, not a nightmare._ The red light glaring from his alarm clock told him it was 7:21. He had slept… four hours? He rubbed his face and stretched, there was no point in lazing about in bed in his current state.

Dick knew he had to do something he had been dreading—take a shower. He walked into the bathroom, and stared for a moment at his face, rubbing his jaw and taking in the longer face, turquoise eyes and white streak of hair that hung low over his brow. Shaking his head, he turned off the lights to shower. They may be brothers, but he did NOT need to see more of Jason than he already saw on a daily basis. All in all, it was probably the quickest shower he had taken in his life.

Sufficiently clean, he walked to his closet and faced a new problem—none of his clothes fit. Jason had a couple of inches and at least 30 pounds on Dick, and even his sweatpants were too tight. He let out a long sigh and made his way over to Jason's room. He knocked and waited. Jason was difficult to rouse on the best of days. With no response, he started knocking again and didn't stop until he heard a crash and swearing from within. The door opened and Jason glared groggily up at Dick.

"Whaddyawant?"

"I need clothes," he replied innocently.

Jason stared uncomprehending for a moment, then turned back into his room. A pair of dark grey jeans and a maroon t-shirt flew out of the dark space.

"Thanks!" He hollered back, as the door slammed in his face. Shaking his head, Dick walked back to his room and changed before walking to the kitchen. He found Damian seated at the table working on calculus homework, while Tim stared blearily off into space over a cup of coffee. He was fortunate that he had the weekend off for work, it gave them some time to deal with their problems—he did not like the idea of Jason having to impersonate him at precinct. There was no way that would end well, and his partner Amy Rohrbach would immediately know something was up. He rummaged around the kitchen for a box of cereal as Alfred walked in.

"Would you care for some coffee, Master Dick?" Unflappable as always, Alfred spoke as though nothing was out of place.

"That'd be great Alfred, thanks. I take it you heard about the night we had?"

"I did indeed, however I have no doubt that the two of you will be sorted out in no time. I must admit, it is rather strange seeing you as Master Jason."

Dick snorted. "Tell me about it, how do you think it is for me? I don't even want to tell you how weird it felt to use _my_ _own_ toothbrush this morning. I will be burning that as soon as things are back to normal."

There was a scuffling noise from the hallway as Jason shuffled in, hands in his pockets. He took in his family, eyes landing on Tim, still sitting with a dazed look on his face. Damian watched with amusement as Jason crept forward, utilizing Dick's lighter and stealthier body, until his face was a few inches from Tim's.

"Good mornin' Timmy!" Tim startled into the present, spilling coffee on his hands. Damian snickered as Tim rapidly started wiping up the spilled coffee with his napkin.

"Jesus, Dick- er Jason! What was that for?"

He grinned. "I'm exercising my rights as your elder to mess with you."

"And I am exercising mine, Master Jason," Jason flinched at Alfred's tone. "Help Tim clean this up, and you will be assisting in the preparation of dinner tonight."

He grinned. "Still totally worth it. What are you thinking so hard about anyway, Timbo?" Tim scowled at the nickname.

"A solution to _your_ screw-ups Jay. You might want to be a bit nicer to me if you want out of your predicament."

Jason pursed his lips as if in thought. "I _could_ , but then how would I stay entertained during this trying time of mine?"

As Tim kicked him under the table, Bruce stalked in, phone in hand.

"I've spoken with all my magical contacts, and no one seems to know what spell hit you guys. What they all agreed upon, is that this shouldn't be permanent, but we'll need to find the witch to determine countermeasures."

There was a collective groan from the table as everyone spoke at once.

"It will take _hours_ if not _days_ of research to track this lady down—"

"How do we know she's even still here?! If she's smart, she's fled by now, it's what I would have done—"

"If this harlot believes she can escape, she will shortly learn otherwise or suffer the consequences—"

"Everyone _quiet down_!"

There was immediate silence as everyone, Dick included, was shocked by the booming yell that came from him.

Tim spoke up. "No offense Dick… but you're kinda scary as Jason."

He rubbed his neck, looking sheepishly at the group. "Sorry guys… but all the more reason to fix this. We can figure it out. It will be difficult, but if we work together, she won't be hidden for long. We can do this!"

"And _there's_ the Dickie bird we all know and hate."

"Jay, you know I love you, but shut up for a moment." Jason flipped him off but stayed quiet as Dick continued. "Bruce, I think our best lead is figuring out whoever was receiving the guns last night. If they had the funds to get a witch-for-hire, they must have more influence than we previously thought."

Bruce rubbed his chin in thought. "Tim, I want you to gather as much intel as you can on this group. We can't go in blind again. Dick, Jayson, you two should spend the day getting accustomed to… this…" He gestured at them. "When we go out tonight, you need to be comfortable enough to fight. Damian, you can help them train."

He scowled. "Father, I have much better things to do than assisting these two idiots with their own issues."

"Things like your perfectly completed calculus homework?" Dick ruffled Damian's hair, much to his displeasure. "C'mon Dami, it'll be fun. Plus, with me and Jason out of sorts from this whole shindig, you may even be able to beat Jason in sparring."

He let out a bark of laughter. "Fat chance, demon brat."

Damian stood to his full height of four feet nine inches and glared at Jason. "Sparring mats, 15 minutes." And with that he huffed off in the direction of his bed room.

Ten minutes later found the two of them in workout clothes in the training area of the cave, waiting for Damian to join. Tim sat at the computer conducting research, while Bruce was nowhere to be found.

"Okay, Jay," Dick rubbed his hands together, "We're gonna have to train in each other's fighting styles."

"What?! Why?"

Dick rose an eyebrow. "You _may_ be able to fit in your gear, but it would be real loose, and that could be a hazard when fighting. And there's no way I'll be able to fit into my gear."

"It could stretch," he muttered.

"It's Kevlar reinforced polymer Jay, it stretches enough for me to climb into it! It's not gonna magically grow two inches longer and wider! Look, I don't like it either, you think I want to wear your sweaty gross jacket? But we have to make do with what we've got. Hopefully we won't have to deal with it for long."

Jason breathed through his nose. "Fine. But you damage any part of my equipment and you'll never find your escrima sticks again."

"Why would you take those, of all things?"

He shrugged. "They're cool." Jason's face split into a wide grin. "So this means you're gonna have to fight with guns then, huh?"

Dick let out a long-suffering sigh. "I know how to use a gun, Jay. I work as a cop, remember?"

"Yeah, but can you do this?"

He grabbed his guns, climbed on top of a crate, and while jumping off did a complicated flipping maneuver while simultaneously shooting each of the six targets spread around the cave dead center. Tim yelled "Seriously?!" as the mug he was about to drink from shattered, dousing him anew with coffee. Jason crossed his arms and looked to Dick with a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Okaaay let's assume that I'm as likely to do that as you are to land a quadruple backflip. Let's just focus on hand to hand for now, we can work on the fighting styles we both know."

Damian descended the stair case and came to a stop in front of his two elders, arms crossed. "I do not wish to spend any longer working with you imbeciles than what is required of me."

"Aw man, I thought I had graduated from your 'Imbeciles List' Damian."

"Tt. With this stunt Grayson, count yourself lucky you didn't end up on the 'Lost-cause List' with Drake." An indignant yell came from Tim, still mopping up the coffee.

"Welp, we better get into this then, I don't want to be demoted any further."

Jason rolled his eyes at his brothers and they all got into ready stances to prepare sparring with each other. They sparred for several hours, going through different moves in Judo, Taekwondo, and all the other martial arts they were trained in. While the session began with many missteps and improperly placed moves, by the time lunch came around they were almost back to the level of skill they regularly had (though Damian was proud to say that he had been able to Judo flip Jason to the mat at least once). Drenched in sweat, they descended upon the platter of sandwiches Alfred had left next to the batcomputer.

Tim looked up from his research as Dick set a sandwich down next to him, along with a fresh cup of coffee. "Thanks, Dick. If Jason keeps ruining my coffee, I'm going to start going through withdrawals."

"Hey, the amount of coffee you drink is nowhere near healthy levels," Jason argued through a mouthful of sandwich. He swallowed. "Speaking of withdrawals, how are ya holding up, Dickie?"

Dick frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Look at your hands." All eyes went to Dick's slightly trembling fingers. His frown deepened as he flipped his hand over. "I'm a smoker, Dick. My body hasn't gotten a cigarette in almost a day, and since you're making it go cold turkey, it's going through withdrawals." Jason let out a bark of laughter. "Hah, you have to go through withdrawals for me!"

Dick scowled. "Well, I'm certainly not going to start smoking! I'll just deal with it. And hey, if it gets you to stop smoking then it's worth it."

"We'll see if you still agree with that as it gets worse. I've tried quitting before, Dick, I know every pain that is yet to come."

"We've been through more pain than most people alive, and you think this is going to be worse?"

"Just wait and see. I'm telling you, it's different."

Dick just shook his head. "Tim, what have you found out about our lovely friends from the docks?"

"Well I don't think they're anyone you'd want to be friends with. We didn't have much on them before because they're new to Gotham, but they're not a new group. They're led by this guy, Claus Blaschko. I can find almost no information on him, as far as Interpol is concerned, he came into existence at the same time as the gang. They seem to migrate, never staying in a city for more than a few months. The earliest records I can find of them is that they originated somewhere in central Europe a few years back, making their way west. The records Interpol has on them go cold about a year back, in London. From my own investigation, I found that they popped up in Miami about ten months ago, and have been making their way up the coast since."

Jason grabbed another sandwich. "So why don't the local gangs in every city kick them out? I mean, something like this would usually start a turf war, wouldn't it?"

"Normally I would agree with you, but as this gang has moved around it's picked up the worst of the worst in every city, and these people have street cred. Most likely the local gangs know that this would be a fight they wouldn't get out of easily, and if the gang is only going to be there a few months anyway, they just let it slide until they leave. So the gang spends those few months trafficking everything they can get their hands on—weapons, drugs, people, they're not picky, unfortunately. While they're there, they pick up some new henchmen from whichever city they're in to help them blend in, and do grunt work for them, like picking up their equipment. The shipment that you guys stopped last night probably wasn't even one of their bigger ones, the gang hasn't been here long enough yet. This is all guesswork, but I'd wager that the local henchmen warned Blaschko about all the vigilantes in Gotham, and he hired the witch to get a measure of what we're like."

Dick grimaced. "Why haven't they been stopped? The police in all these cities should have known something was up."

"Unfortunately, they seem to be taking advantage of the cities by settling in the districts with the most corrupt police, it's probably why they set up shop in Bludhaven."

There was silence as they all pondered Tim's words. It was common knowledge that Bludhaven had a corrupt police department, it was one of the reasons Dick chose to work there instead of Gotham. He hoped to one day be able to influence the BPD enough to replace the corrupt officers with honest ones.

Damian spoke up. "So what is our next move?"

"We want to find the witch lady, and if she's in Blaschko's pocket, odds are that she's staying with the gang for the time being. So we find the gang, we find the witch. Problem is, I wasn't able to find anything on where the gang is headquartered, and Bludhaven is a big place. I know the BPD keeps tabs on where the gangs hang out, but they haven't switched to digital records yet, so it's not the sort of thing I can hack my way into."

Dick groaned. "Tim, tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."

He grimaced. "Sorry about this, Dick." Tim turned to Jason. "Hey Jay, how do you feel about impersonating Dick and breaking into BPD's records room?"

* * *

Hey everybody! Another chapter down, it's more of a filler but it's setting up for some of the things to come. Plus it's fun to explore all the little things Dick and Jason have to deal with in their current situation :)

Thank you all so much for reviewing, favoriting and following this story! It really means a lot to me and inspires me to keep writing.


	4. Chapter 4

Their plan was simple enough. "Dick" would be stopping by with his cousin "Peter" from out of town, who wanted to see where his police officer cousin worked. In the meantime, "Dick" would pick up some case files for a case he was working, and could access the information they needed. If it all went smoothly, they would be in and out in 10 minutes. Of course, nothing ever went smoothly for them, so Dick didn't have high hopes. He pulled into a spot in the BPD parking lot. They had borrowed one of the more inconspicuous vehicles from Bruce, a dark grey Ford Explorer that could fit all four of them (and Tim's reconnaissance equipment).

"Okay, we'll be listening in on the whole operation, if you need a quick extraction you can tell them that you were just stopping by while going out for groceries, and your kid brother is suffocating in the car."

Damian had his arms crossed and scowled from the back seat. "Tt, if anyone will be suffocated during this operation it will be you, Drake."

Tim rolled his eyes and passed Dick and Jason ear buds. "You'll be able to hear us from the car, we'll be ready to back you up with any info you need while you're there."

Dick raised an eyebrow as he accepted the communication device. "Don't you think this is kind of overkill, Tim? I know my way around the precinct."

"Yeah, but Jason doesn't. If you guys get separated, it won't be hard for the building full of detectives to figure out something is up when 'Dick Grayson,'" he made air quotes as he said the name, "can't find his way out of the building. And they're probably not gonna accept, 'Don't worry guys, I'm really here, I just swapped bodies with my largely-considered-to-be-dead younger brother while we were fighting a sorceress during our nightly escapades as vigilantes,' as an excuse. Then we'll never get the information we need, and you guys will be doomed to be stuck like this for _ever_." Despite Tim's dramatic over exaggeration of the situation, the message got through to Dick.

"Fair enough," he conceded and jammed the ear bud into his ear. He turned to Jason. "Do you want to go over the plan one more time?"

"You drilled every part of the plan into my skull, Dick. I think I could pull this off in my sleep by now."

"Okay, okay, let's just get this over with."

They clambered out of the car and made their way up the steps of the building. Due to it being a weekend, it thankfully wasn't particularly busy. They walked up to the security checkpoint so they could be cleared before heading up to the main area. As they approached, the security guard looked up and greeted them.

"Oh hey, Dick, how's it going?"

 _Figures,_ Jason thought, annoyed. _Dick probably knows everyone in this entire building. Time to shine._ He felt that the many times he had done an impersonation of Dick being annoying over the years gave him some advantage to the situation, so he plastered a smile to his face and tried to appear relaxed.

"Oh, I'm doing pretty good," Jason barely paused to read the guard's nametag, "Phil. Just bringing my cousin Peter on by, he's visiting from out of town and wanted to see where I worked. I need to pick up a case file anyway, so I offered to bring him along."

As they pulled anything metallic out of their pockets (the earbuds supplied by Tim were carbon fiber-based and undetectable by metal detectors), Phil the security guard chatted amiably with them. "Where are you from, Peter?"

Dick smiled, Phil was a friendly guy, he always had time to chat when Dick came in for his shifts. "Star City, have you ever been?"

Phil the security guard's face lit up. "Yeah, my wife's from there! We visit her family every Christmas with the kids."

Dick made it through the metal detectors with Jason and picked up a visitor's badge. "Yeah it's a beautiful city in the wintertime." (Phil had in fact told Dick the exact same thing several weeks prior when they were discussing their winter holidays). They collected their things and began to make their way to the elevator.

"It sure is! Well, have a nice time in Gotham, Peter, and nice seeing you again, Dick." Dick thanked Phil and Jason waved half-heartedly, already on his way to the elevator. As they waited for the elevator Dick spoke in a low voice.

"Hey try to be a little more… I don't know, approachable? I'm a friendly guy, I talk to people."

Jason scowled. "That entire conversation was pointless, I just want to get in and out of here as fast as possible." They entered the elevator and began their slow ascent to the floor they needed. "You realize I usually try to avoid places like this, right?"

"Yeah, well if we're lucky we won't be here any longer than five minutes." The elevator dinged and they exited—only to come face to face with Dick's partner, Amy Rohrbach. She was reading through some papers as she walked past the elevator.

Amy looked up at their frozen expressions with a surprised look of her own. "Dick! I didn't expect to see you in today, isn't it your day off?"

When Jason didn't respond Dick subtly elbowed him in the ribs. Remembering Dick's elevator pep talk, he put on a fake smile again. "Oh, uh, I needed to pick up some files for one of our cases, and my cousin is visiting from out of town and wanted to see the precinct."

Amy squinted. "I thought you said you didn't have any living blood-related family?"

Jason scrambled for an answer. "Oh uh, technically he's not related to me, but he's my… adoptive dad's first cousin once removed, and since he's around my age we hung out a lot growing up. So he's my… kinda cousin. Yeah."

She raised an eyebrow at Jason's explanation but stuck out her hand for a hand shake. "Nice to meet you, I'm Amy."

Dick accepted the handshake. "I'm Peter, nice to meet you too, Amy."

Amy surveyed Dick up and down. It was uncomfortable to be looked at like this by someone he knew so well. He put his hands in his pockets.

"Trying to kick the habit, huh?" Amy questioned. She gestured to the nicotine patch on his wrist (Dick had made them stop at a drugstore on the way to the station, because "I'm going to get you clean goddammit.").

"What? Oh yeah, I'm trying to quit. It destroys your body, you know."

Jason scowled. "Well maybe some people do it to deal with their crazy lives."

Dick turned and frowned at Jason. "Those people should remember that there are other ways to deal with stress, especially if they stop pushing away their families."

"Well _maybe_ the family is the reason they smoke!" Jason glared at Dick.

There was silence for a few moments as they had a stare down. Amy looked utterly confused. "Dick… are you… advocating _for_ your cousin to smoke?"

Jason broke eye contact with Dick and plastered yet another wide smile on his face. "No, no of course not! That would be insane, I would never stand in the way of someone's goals like that, especially when they so clearly need the support."

Amy squinted and drew back a bit, Jason still smiling like a maniac. "Yeah, ok… look I'm going to get back to work, nice to meet you Peter, good seeing you Dick. Maybe get some extra sleep this weekend? I think you need it."

As she walked back to her desk, Dick smiled at her, internally cringing, and pulled Jason around a corner. They spoke in hushed whispers. "Dude, easy on the smiles, she my partner, not my wife." Jason glared at him.

"Hey this isn't easy, you want to switch places with me?"

"Gladly, but that's clearly not an option!"

"Yeah, well it's a hell of a lot easier to pretend to be pissed at everyone than it is to fake being happy all the time!"

"You ever stop to consider that maybe that's how _I_ cope with our crazy lives?! When things suck, at least I can make the people around me happy, and it feels like things suck a little less!"

Jason took a step back, surprised. "Wait, _that's_ what it is? I thought you were just irrationally happy all the time."

"What? No, I have emotions, Jay. I just…" He sighed. "Look, as much as you hate to admit it, I'm kind of the big brother figure in your guys' lives, or at least I try to be. When you first moved in, that didn't really mean much to me, until I realized I had started to think of you as a little brother, and realized that what I said and did could have an effect on you. I decided I should make more of an effort to set a good example, so you guys could have one to go off of—I mean, Bruce definitely isn't the best role model when it comes to dealing with stuff. But I figured out that at least acting amiable for others' sakes can make me feel a little better too, it's just basic psychology. That's not to say I don't get mad at people, I just… try to keep a level head and choose what I want others to see. Most of the time."

There was silence for a moment as Jason pondered his words. "Huh. I'd never considered that," he admitted. "I s'pose it makes some sense, even if it's not how I deal with things."

They both jumped when a voice crackled in their ears. _"Are you two done or are we actually going to get the plans today?"_ Damian's voice crackled annoyed over their comms.

Jason chuckled. "Alright, let's do this."

They rounded a few corners and made it to the records room. A plump middle-aged woman sat at a desk inside a metal cage of sorts that was the entrance to the records room. She had to buzz people in to allow them access to the records beyond. In their planning for their "heist" Dick had informed Jason that the woman, Dorothy, was willing to bend the rules a little if the person asking was nice. Time to put on his game face.

Jason walked right up to the counter, again smiling, but this time he tried to make it look natural and easy-going. "Hey Dorothy, how's it going?"

She smiled up at him. "Oh, you know Dick, same old same old. What brings you by?"

"What, I can't just come and visit my favorite record's keeper?" Jason actually had the audacity to look offended, while Dorothy blushed. "Well I guess I'll just have to pick up the files I came for, then." The easy-going smile was back, which Dorothy quickly returned.

"Files I can do. Who's your friend here? You know I can't let him in with you…"

"This is my cousin, Pete. Can he really not come in? He wants to join the force someday, I told him I'd show him around, I swear we'll be quick." And Dick couldn't believe it, but Jason was pulling off his signature puppy dog look _flawlessly._

Dorothy looked pleasantly flustered. "Oh… you know I can't say no to you Dick… alright, just be quick," and with that she buzzed them in.

"Dorothy, you're an angel," Jason praised. She responded by blushing even deeper than before as they traipsed by.

Dick would have thanked her as well, if he wasn't in absolute shock at _Jason_ charming his way to victory, and in such a Dick Grayson manner. He managed a weak smile and a nod to Dorothy. Once they were a few aisles away, he whispered to Jason, "Wow, Jay, _nice_. I didn't know you had it in you."

He harrumphed. "I still maintain that your superpower is being able to charm any woman, so don't chock it all up to me."

" _Pat yourselves on the back when you're out of there, for now focus on the mission."_ There was a shriek of indignation as Damian was apparently shoved away from the microphone.

" _Stay off the mic, brat."_

"Boys, play nice," Dick whispered.

Tim ignored the suggestion. _"Dick, the file that you want is in section F 23."_

They moved a few aisles over and down a row, and found the box containing the file. After thumbing through a few folders, they found the file with the address of the gang's home base. "Got it," Jason muttered. They made their way to the front of the room and passed Dorothy. "Thanks Dor, hope the rest of your shift passes quickly," Jason smiled once more.

"Oh it's always a pleasure having you stop by Dick, you know you can come by anytime. Nice meeting you Pete!"

This time Dick had his wits more about him and was able to flash her a smile to rival Jason's. "Nice meeting you too, Dorothy."

She stage whispered to Dick, "If you're ever back in town, you feel free to visit too. I get lonely here you know."

He laughed, the irony of her statement was not lost on him. "Oh, I'll make sure to stop by."

They turned the corner, walking back to the elevator. They were home free, they had the file, they just needed to get back to the car and—

An alarm blared. Commotion started around them as all the officers jumped up from their desks, grabbing their gear and running to the stairs. "Shit," Dick swore under his breath.

Jason turned to him, confused. "What, what's going on?"

Dick turned to him, tense. "Quick, try to catch the elevator, that's the alarm for—"

"Dick! I'm glad I caught you," Amy was rushing past but stopped at Jason and Dick. "There's been a break in at the First National Bank down the street, they've taken hostages and need everyone there. I know it's your day off, but we need you there. Suit up buddy!"

Jason sputtered. "Wait, what? B-but— I— uh, my little brother is waiting for me in the car and probably suffocating, I can't leave him!"

"Your cous' looks old enough to drive, give him the keys. Come on!" Jason was swept away by Amy, a wild look in his eyes. He was so _not_ prepared for this. Dick made to follow, already thinking up excuses in his mind, but Amy stopped him. "Sorry kiddo, you've got to head back home." And with that she and Jason disappeared around the corner.

"Ah _fuck_."

* * *

Hey everybody! Sorry about the delay in posting, school started up for me again and has given me less time to write than I had over the holidays, so I probably won't be posting quite as regularly as before, just know that I'm still working on the story! I hope Jason isn't _too_ ooc here, I wanted him and Dick  
to have a chance to have a heart to heart chat, which is surprisingly difficult to write.

Thank you all for favoriting, following, reviewing and continuing to find interest in my story, you're all awesome! Please review, it is incredibly helpful to me to hear what you think of the story!


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